february inspiration (#9)

 

• i got the chance to see Relient K and Switchfoot on tour together which was basically a dream come true (Sadie Hawkins Dance and khaki pants anyone???) and i've been pumping out a playlist with both bands today
• The Letterfolk insta has me in tears, daily! Check it out!
• Immigration has been an extremely touchy subject recently here in North American. If you're looking for some discussion on it that is Godly and thoughtful, i would highly recommend this Relevant podcast episode
•  "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt
• These single Christian girl memes cracked me up!
• i used a slow cooker for the first time yesterday and this recipe for Chicken Fajitas was awesome!

(see list #8, list #7, list #6, list #5, list #4, list #3, list #2 and list #1)

january inspiration (#8)

image via

• Ellie Holcomb just released a new album and her voice blows me away! "He Will" is absolute stunning!
• "If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit" - unknown
• After last weekend (with the women's marches all across the world) i found this article - "5 Ways the Bible Supports Feminism - a great way to share a Christian perspective on feminism
• i got new rainboots today and they are inspiring me to head out, even in the rain, on adventures!
• i've been bit by the travel bug and this post has been super helpful as i make plans

(see list #7, list #6, list #5, list #4, list #3, list #2 and list #1)

november inspiration (#6)

(see list #5, list #4, list #3, list #2 and list #1)

• This coat looks amazingly cozy and stunning!
• i never eat eggs, but my grandma used to make me egg drop soup and i recently found a recipe for it and i can't wait to give it a try! Plus it only takes 10 minutes! #winning
• Speaking of soup... thai curry butternut squash soup... need i say more? 
• i'm not Little Big Town's biggest fan, but their new song - Better Man - is fantastic!
• This cabin seems like the perfect place to soak in some silence (see: last blog post)
• "We will never have the opportunity to cross the bridge of hope without a valley of doubt underneath. Faith is not ignoring the valley or refusing to cross; it is trusting the bridge God has placed before us." - Joshua Roberie
• Nat Geo made a part-'documentary' part-fictional tv show called 'Mars' about a team of astronauts going to Mars in 2033. Watched the first one and it's AH-mazing, although i've already confessed my love of space (again, see last blog post)

silence

i've heard it said that introverts prefer the mountains and extroverts the ocean. While i wouldn't be who i am without my regular doses of vitamin sea (ha!), i can see the appeal of the mountains. i remember hiking through a trail up on a mountain last winter and being in awe of how absolutely silent it was when we stopped walking. Our breathing was the only sound that could be heard in the snowy wonderland. It hit me to the depths of my (introverted) soul.

This past week i've been thinking on the idea of silence. As a babysitter (or I would imagine as a parent) silence is definitely not a good thing. In my line of work, silence scares me because it means nothing is happening and that often means that i am needed. But i think that silence is sorely lacking in our society.

In his book "Jesus > Religion" (highly recommended!), Jeff Bethke writes:

 "I hear a lot of people say that the fear of death and the fear of public speaking are two of the main fears in my generation, but I disagree. I think it’s the fear of silence. We refuse to turn off our computers, turn off our phones, log off Facebook, and just sit in silence, because in those moments we might actually have to face up to who we really are.We fear silence like it’s an invisible monster, gnawing at us, ripping us open, and showing us our dissatisfaction. Silence is terrifying."

We are so quick to open our phones when we have a few seconds of time. So quick to reach out for another connecting. So worried about missing out that we don't take the time the re-charge and fully rest. 

i have a secret dream of going to space. Seeing the Earth from space is definitely one of the reasons. But the thing that i think is the most appealing, would be the clear, utter silence that you would be enveloped in when you stepped out of the space craft. i can't even imagine it, but it's something i crave. In this busy, non-stop world, we need to take time for silence. Time to "face up to who we really are." Time to enjoy where we are and where God has us, and time to listen to what God wants us to hear. 

loneliness take 2

i've written a blog post on loneliness before (check it out here) but it's been a few months since then so i thought i would touch on the subject again.

i found a quote recently on the topic of loneliness that i absolutely love. i think it's because it was able to put into words how i've been feeling. Plus it's a relief to know that i'm not the only one who has explored this aspect of loneliness.

"Loneliness isn't about other people, it's an inner condition. Solitude trains us in being present with ourselves and God so that we actually show up in real relationships with other people." - Bill Dogterom

An "inner condition" is an amazingly abstract way of describing loneliness. Usually when people think of loneliness they think of it in regards of not being around other people or not being able to connect with other people. i think that both of these definitions can be true of loneliness, but i don't think that they do a good enough job of describing the different facets of the word. i think that God can use loneliness to challenge us in being present with ourselves and with Him, as Bill describes in his quote. i think that loneliness - as with many things - can be intended for evil but used for good by God.

If you're feeling lonely, i challenge you to not take the feeling sitting down. i challenge you to use it to push you to "show up in real relationships." To use the feeling to dive deeper into solidifying thoughts about faith and God's heart for His world.

october inspiration (#5)

(see list #4, list #3, list #2 and list #1)

 Wow! It's been 2 months since i've posted anything on here... i've been a bit more vocal on my instagram account but i'm definitely going to try and get back into blogging. The first way i've decided to make sure i'm more consistent is by making this "inspirations list" thing a monthly thing. So here it goes for October...

• Thai Chicken Quinoa Bowl - need i say more? i cook my carrots and serve it all warm, but other than that i follow the recipe to a "t" and it is wonderful!
• i decided i need a new hobby so i picked up a calligraphy pen (or is it a fountain pen? Still not totally sure) and i've gotten started doodling. i love it! (Scarlet & Gold has a great intro video for free on their website!)
• Maren Morris isn't a style of country that i usually go for, but lately i've been loving her song "I Could Use a Love Song." It's super catchy and the lyrics are definitely relatable
• PODCASTS! They have taken over my life, and i've noticed i bring them up in pretty much every conversation... it's bad. i follow Relevant Magazine's podcast and today i just listened to my first episode of "Ask Science Mike" (the 'Gluten, Guns & Un-Christian Love episode) which was equally challenging and interesting
• "You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously" (unknown)

local construction

When the second song of Relient K's new album started to play, i was pleasantly surprised. The first song (Bummin') is a classic Relient K rock tune but the second - Local Construction - opens with a carnival-like piano riff. What i really liked, though, and now absolutely love, are the words in the chorus:

Fix the car
Fix the house
Fix the flaws in myself - it's never done

The song as a whole is poking fun at the idea that local construction is never finished - once one road is fixed, another needs to be fixed. But i think that the chorus hits a bit deeper. i absolutely love the line "fix the flaws in myself - it's never done." The idea that we need to continually be working on ourselves to become more like the image of God.


i've been reading "A Year With C.S. Lewis" (because who doesn't love some good Lewis wisdom?!) and i really connected with an excerpt from his book Mere Christianity:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on... But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different from the house you thought of... You thought you were going to be made into a decent cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

i love that picture. It could be seen as discouraging - that we need to have that much work done on us - but i think it's a beautiful display of God's love for us. That He would love us so much that He is putting effort into every single little detail. He loves us so much that He is constantly shaping and molding us into something more beautiful than we can ever imagine.

And one day all this construction will be done - in heaven. We can have full hope and peace as we rest in that.

lists - inspiration take 2

See list #1 here.

• It's been blazing hot here, so i made a chai tea "base" so i can whip up iced chai teas super quick! 2 bags of green tea chai steeped for 10+ minutes, a splash of good vanilla and a ton of honey! So yummy!
• Needtobreathe put out two new songs without me knowing! (and i call myself a fan...) This one is my favorite but the other one is killer too
• This salad is seriously inspiring me to pick up some avacado and radishes!
• "The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists of listening to them. Just as love of God begins with listening to His word, so the beginning of love for our brothers and sisters is learning to listen to them." - Bonhoeffer 
• This cover of Taylor Swift's You Are In Love is unreal!!!
• i'm just about to grab my music issue of Relevant and go lay in the sun (there will definitely be some inspiration - and hopefully some new music ideas - in there)

the tough stuff

A few weeks ago i had the opportunity to really dig into why i believe that God is all-loving and all-knowing even though there is suffering here on Earth. As i read through books (C.S. Lewis's The Problem of Pain was promptly added to my summer reading list), quotes and, most importantly, the Bible, i was amazed by how the fact that though God never answers a lot of our questions about suffering, He is there every step of the way. Jesus suffered on the cross, He lost friends and wept with those who also mourned, and He feels every hurt even more deeply than we can because He sacrificed Himself for us.

Today i learned that a close friends mom has been diagnosed with cancer. It's so easy for us to have an Earth-focused perspective, forgetting that God works through suffering. He pushes us, molds us and shapes us, and allows our suffering to have purpose and meaning. But that doesn't mean we have to just sit there and be okay with our suffering. We can fight tooth and nail, knowing that God strengthens and empowers us to do what is necessary. And we need to remember that this Earth is not our home - we were made for the Kingdom of God and when we get there this life will only be the twinkling of an eye.

i read a quote from John Stott that i think explains this idea beautifully. In his book The Cross of Christ, he writes: "We have to learn to climb the hill called Calvary, and from that vantage-ground survey all life's tragedies. The cross does not solve the problem of suffering, but it supplies the essential perspective from which to look at it."

Jennie Allen also crushes it with a reminder of maintaining a heavenward perspective in the book Restless (yes, i know i quote it constantly... it's just so good!) saying: "If God's arrow really does go on forever and ever and never ends, it's justifiable that God cares more about our eternity with him than this little pixel." i definitely don't think that she means that God doesn't care, what i think she means is that God sees the big picture. He has a plan and He has the strength to carry you through what that plan brings. Don't just gloss over suffering - it's a real part of what it means to be a Christ (read Paul's story in the Bible if you aren't convinced) - but don't get caught explaining it away either. Just because God knows what He's doing and we trust that, it doesn't mean we can't cry and complain and struggle. We just have to remember that we aren't meant for this life and one day we will be where we were supposed to be - the Kingdom of God - living lives more full than any we can imagine here.

we are wondering

C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite people to quote. So far i've read about 85% of Mere Christianity, Screwtape Letters and the Chronicles of Narnia, and it's my hope that once i have more free time (hopefully some time in the near future) that i'll continue adding to this list (and maybe finally finish of that pesky Mere Christianity). Last night i re-read an amazing quote from his "Letters to an American Lady" and was struck by how much truth these words hold in regards to my life.

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

i love this because he's not necessarily saying that it's okay to doubt God, but he is confessing that he had those thoughts. And if the great C.S. Lewis was a little scared of getting hurt, then maybe it's okay that i am too.

Lists - Inspirations

i love lists and i've been feeling a little uninspired lately so i thought i'd write down a few things that i've found particularly inspiring in the past few days.

- Future of Forestry's album Pages
- "Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground." (Teddy Roosevelt)
- "Normality is a paved road. It's comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow." (Vincent Van Gogh)
- This Relevant Magazine article on why Christians ruin dating
- This photo of what looks like the best breakfast/snack ever
- This silk flower wall decoration idea

Okay, so it's a little ragtag of a list but who cares? What's inspiring you these days?

lonely, not alone

When i read the title of this blog post ("Still Lonely, Not Alone) i knew i had found a better way of describing my current situation. Though i am not in the same position as Andrew (the author of that post) i have been learning about loneliness these past few months. Back in December loneliness seemed like such a negative word, but i knew that God was (and still definitely is) working on my heart, so it didn't seem like such a bad thing. i have amazing friends and an amazing family so to say that i was lonely felt like i was putting my relationships with them down. But i've been learning that sometimes you need to take a step back and learn to be lonely in order to learn that you aren't alone.

i'm reaching what i know is the end of a chapter in my life. For the past ten million years (ok, i'm definitely exaggerating but that's what it feels like) i've had classes to go to and extracurricular to conquer. i've had friends down the road or down the hall which meant that if i needed a hug/laugh/cry i didn't have to go very far. Most of the time, the chapters of my life have seemed to come to a silent close, so it has been interesting having this end looming ahead of me. Don't get me wrong, it will be amazingly nice not to have assignments and papers and debates to write, but i know that the community that i have been a part of for the last few years, and even for the last few decades, won't be the same as i step forward into life "beyond." As i guess i should have expected, these past few months (and i'm sure the next few) leading up to this chapter closing have been ones full of reflection and learning outside of the books.

If i wrote down everything i've been learning and reflecting on, we would be here forever (this time it's probably not an exaggeration), so i just want to touch on this idea of "still lonely, not alone."

i've learned that it's ok to feel lonely. Loneliness doesn't mean that you are any less or that your relationships are any less. In fact, i think that it means your relationships are more. What i have been challenged with is why i've been feeling lonely. i've been realizing that i've been preparing myself for a loss that hasn't happened yet. i've been backing away from people that i know i will lose once this chapter ends. In essence, i've been bubble wrapping my heart in preparation for the good byes i know are coming and i don't want to face yet. And this scares me. To know that you are pulling away so that the end doesn't hurt so bad is definitely a scary place to be. And a few weeks ago, when i figured out what i was doing, i didn't know where to go next.

i know now that it's not fair to pull back. This sounds painfully obvious, but sometimes i have to remind myself that i can't see the future (oh how much easier would it be if we could). This weekend i realized that the best option isn't pulling back, but rather investing. Instead of digging myself out, i should be digging myself into these relationships if i don't want the goodbyes to come.

So yes i am lonely, but i don't need to be. God's got my back and He's been easing me through this time of reflection with a very gentle and patient hand. i am constantly amazed by His thoughtfulness and His love towards me. When my heart hurts because i am lonely, He knows and He is hurting right there with me. When my heart hearts because i am lonely, He is right behind me to stop me from pulling back, gently pushing me deeper instead of shallower. i am not alone. And, thank God, i never will be. But it's ok to feel lonely sometimes. God uses the lonely times - they are times that allow us to deeply reflect on who we are, what we believe and why we believe it.

Use this time of loneliness as a springboard. It's ok to sit on the edge for a bit and ponder, as long as you eventually trust that the board is going to hold, that your training has gotten you to this place and that you can do it, because you've got a great Coach (ok, sorry to get a little cheesy).

i recently read this quote on instagram and i have a feeling it will be one that keeps coming back up in my life. It's challenging, thought-provoking and a perfect reminder that we are called to something more (and i think it's from her amazing book Jesus Feminist - which, although i haven't read yet, i would highly recommend because of what i've heard).

"I want to be outside with the misfits, with the rebels, the dreamers, second-chance givers, the radical grace lavishers, the ones with arms wide open, the courageously vulnerable, and among even - or maybe especially - the ones rejected as not worthy enough or right enough." 
- Sarah Bessey  

one uping

lately i've been busy, tired and and a bit stressed out. i've also noticed that lately i've had the tendency to think that i am the most busy, the most tired and the most stressed out. i live around a fantastic community of people, but i've been noticing that this time of year has caused us all to be a bit on edge and i've been caught up in more "my tiredness is more than your tiredness" battles than i would care to admit. How silly is that?

While thinking this through i was reminded of a quote that i've heard attributed to both Theodore and Eleanor Roosevelt... either way, i love it! "Comparison is the thief of joy."

Yes, i may be busy. Yes, i may be tired. And yes, i may be a bit more on the stressed out side of life than i would like to be. But that doesn't give me license to forget the battle that others are going through. i think we all need to remember sometimes that just like we have days that suck and so do others. We all live such unique lives that to compare our struggles and battles isn't fair, and worst of all it detracts from those relationships that we need most during the times when we're busy/tired/stressed/fill-in-the-blank-here.

Instead of comparing our struggles and trying to one-up one another, my challenge to you and to myself is that we seek instead to be encouraging and to seek joy through these times. At the end of the day, arguing about who has it worse isn't going to make us better but an encouraging word here or there just might do the trick!

restless

|| I found this post that I'd written for another blog over a year ago and thought that it was pretty good so I thought I'd share it again here ||


Melancholy. Dictionary.com defines it as a gloomy state of mind or sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness. Unfortunately it's been a word that has perfectly described my mood lately.

While trying to figure out why I've been in this mood lately, I've been picking my way through a book that I picked up months ago but just haven't really got into, called Restless by Jennie Allen. It came recommended to me as a perfect book for a college age girl, so I thought "what the heck" and picked it up. A few months later and I finally made it past the halfway mark... not that it hasn't been a good one, but my heart hasn't been in it. So why am I rambling about this book? Well, as I've been in this mood one of the triggers for it (at least a conclusion that my pensiveness has brought me to) has been the feeling of a lack of purpose.

When you're somewhere new and around new people it's easy to feel drained and second guess the confident decisions you made months ago.

That's where the book Restless comes in. On page 122, Jennie writes:

"Let's start with what we can know. We know our mission is to know God and make him known. We know at least a glimpse of the story of God through Scripture. We know we are to love, without warrant, every person God puts in our paths. And we know we are to love God more than all of that. You'll remember that though we may not know God's specific, detailed will for us, 99 percent of being in the will of God is being wholly willing to be in the will of God.. Life is too short to spend much time worrying about where on this planet you should be. As Jim Elliott, the great martyr missionary said, 'Wherever you are, be all there.'"

Perspective has become a sort of "life word" for me in the past few years. And I find that my mood shifts dramatically when I have lost my perspective, and that's a dangerous thing. When things happen that we don't quite expect, the easiest thing to do and the thing that we most quickly do as humans is doubt God's purpose for us. But what if we are still in His purpose, it's just a different one than we originally expected?

What if His purpose for us is not exactly what we picked out and chose, but one that is painted with a much broader paintbrush... like bringing those around us to His light and love?

A few pages later in the book, Jennie writes: "Are you set in the places you are in because that is the most strategic place for you to preach the gospel? Let me tell you what happens when you start to think that way. Everything changes."

Elsewhere in the book she talks about having your personal "Africa" (as in your own mission field, maybe not actually going to Africa). Reading this made me pause and think. It's easy for us to get caught up in ourselves as we plan out our lives and what our next move is school wise, career wise or relationship wise. But as much as God uses those things for His glory, the ultimate purpose of those is not to fulfill us but to further His kingdom.

So if you're feeling a little lost as to what your next move is or what your purpose is, take a moment to stop and consider why God might have you there. He had Joseph placed in jail for a while and that ultimately brought redemption and love to a nation. He had Paul placed in jail and that brought many joy and knowledge through the documents that he wrote there. He had Esther placed in a palace with a stranger for a husband, and brought a nation peace through this. He can use you in the same way.

Don't get caught up in your own idea of a purpose driven life without stopping to consider whether it's a purpose that will get blown away in the wind, or if it's a purpose that is in line with God's great commission. A career, schooling and relationships are all great things, but they aren't the be-all and end-all of life. Love is.

over it

I'm over it
Yeah behind me now
I'm just over it
Over it
Yeah I'm finding out
I'm just over it
No I don't know what's over just yet
But I won't go slow and time can let the mind forget
Don't tell me you don't know
Already

[Over It - Relient K]

i absolutely love this song. It's one of those songs that you listen to over and over, forget about and then get reminded of it for some reason and the playing it over and over starts again. 

Today i was reminded of this song because an old scar got picked at. i think it's one of the worst feelings in the world - to imagine that you're through with something and to expect that part to have healed, and then to discover that, in fact, it hasn't. 

i love this song because it's about moving forward but it sounds like the singer doesn't quite know what that means. He admits that he's "over it" but then admits that he doesn't "know what's over just yet." But what i think he really means is that he's ready to move forward, whatever that means. 

i've been thinking a lot about what the "next steps" are in some areas of my life and i was met with this quote when i opened instagram one morning: "There's this beautiful thing called imperfect progress... slow steps of progress wrapped in grace" - Lysa Terkeurst

i love that, as Christians, we can take steps out of faith and God will meet us where we are at. He won't leave us out to dry. Sometimes we need to admit that we're "over it" even if we can't fully wrap our head around what that means and then take a step of progress, ready to be caught by God's grace if necessary. 

Imperfect progress for an imperfect people that are loved by a perfect God. It sounds like a fantastic equation for grace if you ask me.