2017

"living hands open"

i loved 2016. It was full of lots of highs and a few lows. Lots of learning, lots of growing and lots of figuring things out. But it was also a year of learning and growing into the idea that i don't have to have everything figured out. What a beautiful and freeing concept.

i don't like to do new years resolutions. Mostly i find them a cliché and too easy to forget. Instead i try to choose a word or a sentence for the year. Sometimes it's a Bible verse and other times it's a sentence like the one above - "living hands open."

This was an idea that came to me through my pastor when he offered me a job a few months ago. It wasn't a job that i felt qualified for and it wasn't one that i had ever seen myself doing, but when he said those words it affirmed that this was what God had in mind for me for this moment.

i want 2017 to be a year that i live with hands open towards heaven and a heart that is willing to be lead by God. 2016 was a year that was full of unknowns (and i fully anticipate 2017 to be similar) but God faithfully met me in the unknown and made it clear where He wanted me.

So, hands open...? That means digging deep into prayer and opening my ears and heart to hear God's will. It sounds a little daunting, but i love that God is a God of details and He won't leave me hanging out there in the unknown alone.

In the words of Jon Foreman: "So why should i worry? Why do i freak out? God knows what i need. You know what i need."

Happy 2017! May it be the best year yet!

still, small voice

A few days ago a friend brought up the idea of God speaking to us in conversation. She was describing how she didn't feel like God spoke to her per se, but she has recently had multiple moments where she has a deep feeling of "yes, this is where you're supposed to be." In response to this i brought up a few times where i felt God speak to me - not audibly, mind you, but in my heart (or soul, or spirit... haven't read Kierkegaard in a while, so i'm not totally sure what category that would fall under ;).

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the one where Elijah is waiting to hear from God in 1 Kings 19. There are things like a rushing wind and an earthquake, but God comes to Elijah in a still, small voice. It's such a beautiful picture.

i think often we get caught up in the "Moses and the Burning Bush" story. Yes, i believe that that happened and that those kinds of moments still do happen. But i think that if we think that this is the only way that God appears to His people then we are pushing Him into a box that cannot contain Him. A burning bush and a still, small voice are totally different pictures, but God used both to guide His people.

i think the tricky thing about hearing God's voice is that often we lack the discernment to know whether it really is Him speaking or if it is just our heart blaring our wishes loud enough that we pay attention. Or another problem, especially in this generation, is that sometimes we struggle to hear God speak to us because we aren't listening.

With either of these options there are a few steps to take. The first is getting to know God and His character. Getting to know how He interacts with those He calls and how He guides us. This is (maybe obviously) done through reading the Bible. But i think it can also be done through reading books by wise, Godly people who unpack the Scriptures (people like C.S. Lewis, N.T. Wright, Tim Keller).

Another step we can take is by getting on our knees (figuratively or literally) in prayer. You don't solely get to know someone by reading about their character. That would mean that i know Queen Elizabeth personally (don't i wish...). You get to know them by conversing with them - asking them questions, asking stuff of them etc. This is the same of God. We cannot have a full relationship with Him if we don't spend time with Him.

In closing... don't get discouraged! God listens to us (even if we don't listen to Him!) and that is shown throughout history and through the Bible over and over again. But... there are also times where His listening does not result in the answers that we want. For example, Jesus in the garden before He was killed. God heard His prayer to be saved but He was still crucified. God's got something in mind, and i firmly believe that it will result in our good. But God's good and our idea of good are not always the same because we only see a small picture. Hold fast. He's got your back.