to make an end

i believe T.S. Elliot said it right when he said "and to make an end is to make a beginning." i'm so excited for this next chapter in my life to unfold, but it some of that excitement is also dimmed by the fact that i have no idea what's next. This past week i've been thinking a lot about the lessons i've learned over the past few years. i love making lists to remember highlights of the year at new years, or after each year of school so i thought i'd make a quick list of the things i've learned about myself and my relationships over these past few years of school.

• i think the biggest one was one that i wrote about here - it's okay to not be okay - it's okay to not be moving forward but to just stand still sometimes. 
• A few times over my four years of school i was met with some pretty heavy stories from my friends and i realized that as much as it is my job as their friend to listen and support them, i am not God who knows everything they walk through and i have absolutely no training to really get down into the nitty gritty. Sometimes all i can do is listen, hug and be a shoulder to cry on and that is enough!
• Friendships require intentionality. If you want to stay connected, it doesn't really work not putting any effort in like it did in elementary school. It requires texts, phone calls, facebook posts and (best of all in my opinion) letters. It requires making plans, even if they get broken, and putting yourself out there.
• Sometimes those personality tests you do can actually be really valuable. i used to think that they were silly - but since learning i'm an introvert with need for quality time (yay for love languages), i've actually learned a lot about how i recharge and how i interact with others. i've learned that it's okay to spend alone time sometimes but that i can't always use my introvert tendencies as an excuse not to be intentional with my friends
• Contentment isn't a final destination, it's a road that you travel. Like the quote that i put on instagram yesterday says: "[Contentment is] when your life is enough" (Loveology, p. 165)
• Lastly, i've learned an obvious lesson that i will unfortunately, probably be learning for the rest of my life... i can't see the future. i can have some ideas but ultimately, God is the only one who knows what's next. And i can be okay with that because He is God and He knows what is best for me in the short-term and in the long-term. 

Ultimately, school has taught me a lot of lessons beyond those in the classroom and i will forever be grateful for that. Thankfully, the days of studying and papers are over (at least for now) and i'm looking forward to moving into a professional life and seeing what lessons come with that!