it's okay

only the lost become the found

you gain your life when you lay it down

only the fool is born to find

the few who live, only learn to die

well hurt she comes with a price I'm told

she'll either free your heart or she'll steal your soul

 but in the valley in the shadow of the cross you'll find

a little brokenness made you come alive

only the darkness can turn to dawn

i may be weak but Your love is strong

only the blind need eyes to see

only the captive can be set free

{Winding Road by Erik Nieder}

"It's okay not to be okay."

i have told multiple people these words multiple times. It's crazy how hard these words are to believe for myself. These past few days have been tough ones feelings wise - like those days where you literally just don't know why you don't feel okay but you don't, and why you don't know why you just want to cry all the time but you do. While i was lying on my bed listening to a new artist that i found without even searching today, the lyrics above jumped out of the smooth melody that played behind them.

Though we may not know what's going on with us, and we may not understand the minutia of our feelings - i think that the first step towards believe that "it's okay not to be okay" is to understand that you aren't feeling okay. This may sound ridiculously obvious or it may not make sense at all, but i think that if you've been in the place that i am right now it will make sense.

Only the blind need eyes to see // only the captive can be set free. There is no way for us to move forward in life if we don't first understand that there needs to be a forward movement.

In the words of Jamie Tworkowski: "Do not be afraid. Grace is the interesting thing. Hope... And God must be a pretty big fan of today, because you keep waking up to it" (If You Feel Too Much, p. 28)

God doesn't leave us hanging, but sometimes, in order for us to realize that we need His grace deeply and to realize that we are in the deepest of despair without His love, we need to acknowledge the darkness around us and we need to acknowledge our broken and human hearts.

It's okay not to be okay.

It's okay to stay planted firm where you are because sometimes that's necessary to keep you from taking a step back.

It's okay not to know what the next step is and to rest for a moment.

God doesn't leave us hanging and sometimes you'll find that 'a little brokenness made you come alive.'